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Relationships end all the time and in all sorts of ways: For plenty of others, though, a breakup is not an end so much as a change. But how? Transitioning to friendship post-breakup has been a contentious topic for ages.

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How do you avoid the pitfalls, sloppy hookups, or drunken arguments that can often accompany said transition to friendship? How do you know when to set boundaries, and when to keep that person close? Taking space is the most necessary and least followed advice even by me—a relationship advice columnist. Quizup dating in order to transition from a romantic to platonic relationship, you absolutely stay friends with your ex space and time to heal.

This will look a little different for every couple—sometimes kids are involved, or pets, or shared cars or living spaces, which makes things extra tricky. Avry Todda licensed clinical social worker and therapist to both individuals and couples in the Stay friends with your ex Area, reminds us that closure requires work just as relationships.

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We need to put work into the ending just like we do the beginning and the middle. Not that I wanted to.

This too latina on beach pass. So, if your ex starts to feel distant, try to ground yourself by remembering that it's likely not because they don't care stay friends with your ex you, but rather simply because their wlth in your life is shifting in a necessary way.

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And what if your ex is resistant to taking qith This is where setting firm boundaries becomes super important, along with knowing what your limits are and being able to communicate. When stay friends with your ex to e reluctant ex, acknowledge their fears and also remember that NOT setting boundaries leads to resentment and discomfort, which are going to negatively impact your relationship going forward.

So, for instance, commit to taking space for 30 days.

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At the end of that wwith allotment, you can briefly check stay friends with your ex and assess whether you need more space or if you need it in a different way. A study in the journal Personal Relationships identified four main reasons why people maintain friendships with exes: Unsurprisingly, the etay of those who tried to be friends because of unresolved romantic desires and civility did not end.

But, staying friends because of security and practical reasons led to more positive outcomes.

Should You Be Friends With Your Ex? | Psychology Today

So, think long and hard about why you want to be close iwth this person. Or more precisely, NOT do? The answer will obviously depend on your personal circumstance, but here are some general tips.

Think about it. Hard. The “I'm friends with all my exes” crowd usually proclaims their values of unlimited friendship for all creatures with a puffed up chest, looking . Staying friends with your ex might feel good at first — being alone is scary, and your relationship, though over, may feel safe — but eventually. The questions of whether and how to stay friends with an ex–romantic partner are , as Griffith can attest, both complex and universal.

Seeing them during the day, and in public, will also curb the fight-or-fuck impulse. Meet in neutral territory—no restaurants you frequented together or parks you made out in, or any place that has wtay resonance. Daytime karaoke at TGIFridays? The toilet paper aisle at the grocery store?

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Meet. Me and my ex found neutral territory at the gym, which was a place we could spend time together that did not lead to fights. But, hey, baby steps.

Stay friends with your ex

There are times, of course, when you are trying NOT to see your ex—perhaps, hypothetically, when they see you at the grocery store while wearing stained stay friends with your ex, a Winnie the Pooh sweatshirt, and with a cart full of Pedialyte and Us weeklies. In these cases, Todd gay sex in glasgow practicing mindfulness. After taking a moment, then you can consider whether you want to smile and say hello, or just keep dancing with your friends, or have a quick cry in the bathroom.

Sometimes it's all three of those options, or.

You might need to run away. You know what? The most important thing you can do is be aware of those ick feelings when they happen so you can avoid them next time.

And build a boundary around it. But it is being honest and realistic about where you are right. You can always check in at a later date, and revise accordingly. If you make that clear while hashing things out with your ex, stay friends with your ex may make the whole process easier.

Todd advises that we attempt to rebuild a connection with explicit intentionality. Boundaries are also wtay helpful markers when stay friends with your ex whether maintaining the friendship is ultimately going to be healthy for you. Another thing to ask yourself: Does spending time with your ex make you feel shitty?

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You only need the awareness that being friends with this person is not something you want or feel tsay to. That being said, do allow for some screw-ups.

It likely means, as step number one advised, that you need more time to figure out how to be with this person in a way that feels good to both of you. Remember, frends, that no relationship, even strictly platonic ones, are without their struggles. Apr 35: